Part 1 running a 5000m, part 2 struggles

Part 1

Well I finally ran another 5000m. It didn't matter for funding times, it was just good practice for the distance I'll actually be racing and I was really wanting to get a new PB. The last time I ran one last year I went 20:33 but I know I can for sure run faster, especially now. My run workouts have been much better this year. The goal was to finally go sub 20min. Very attainable. Unfortunately that wasn't happening on this particular day. I had been feeling off during practice the week leading up to it, getting back into things after being sick for a week. But no excuses, I was still going for it. There were two other women in the race that I knew were faster, and they ran us with the guys. Because who would want to stick around watching two races that long? It was also at 10pm and I'm pretty sure we all just wanted to go to sleep. Anyways I'm not going to go into detail about my splits or anything (yes, I have every lap time recorded if anyone's interested) but to make a long story short (and yes, 25 laps on an indoor track can feel very long), I gave a good effort considering how I was feeling but the speed was not there for me. I went 20:44 and was quite disappointed. I'll probably get another chance in a few weeks to be paced through a better time and finally get that PB.

Part 2

So lately I've been struggling a bit, physically and mentally. 

At Monday's practice I had a hard time shuffling my way through my 45min easy run. Gary asked how I was feeling after and if I was feeling recovered from the 5000m. I said I was about ready for another recovery week! Then on the bike I was struggling so much to keep pedalling and for once I honestly didn't know if I could force myself through the whole practice. I told Gary I wasn't sure what the rest of the week would be like for me since I was already feeling so awful. He knows I'm not one to just complain and after looking around at some other tired teammates he cut a little bit off the practice. 

The next day we had strength which was ok, and then some 200's on the track. Warm up was rough and I was hoping the adrenaline from doing speed-work would get me through the practice. Then Gary said the girls would do two less than the guys and I kind of got my hopes up... until he said I was an honorary guy. Normally that would be fine, but I guess the look on my face made him reconsider and say I could choose depending on how I felt. We got started and they were going alright I guess, but I asked if I could be a girl for the day.

 

Today I took a break from it all, including classes and training. I got some much-needed extra sleep and got some stuff done at home, but also relaxed a bit. I've found I'm very tired recently. And I'm finding it difficult to re-motivate myself. This is probably because of quite a few factors:

1. Being sick for a week and still recovering from it

2. Not really getting that "break" I was hoping for during reading week since I sat around being kind of miserable and not having a chance to catch up on stuff

3. Still feeling on the edge of getting sick again (and getting nosebleeds every few mornings which is an early sign of being run down for me)

4. Running the 5000m took a lot out of me!

5. Some late nights and stressfulness getting through my two midterms and two assignments last week

6. Not having training camp in the heat of Arizona at the end of the month to look forward to (I'm going in May instead but usually after Christmas my countdown begins to get me through the worst months of the year)

7. Our latest dump of snow makes it feel like winter will never end, even though everything has been flying by so fast ("triathletes attack life at the speed of light," which is also tiring in itself)

8. I've been trying so hard to "crush it" with everything I do lately, sometimes I gotta realize just because I'm a triathlete, doesn't mean I can keep that up all the time

Anyways I could probably keep listing more things getting me down right now but the point of writing this is to turn that around. I called Steve this afternoon since he wasn't having a great day either. I'm not the type to talk on the phone a lot but I'm learning sometimes it really helps. I tried to explain how I was feeling, just like I'm trying now. I had also gone for a walk right before that. It was kind of a random impulse, I never go for walks. I always figure I might as well run! Again, I attack life at the speed of light so why would I purposely do anything slowly? But I'm not feeling up for running right now and the sun was shining, I figured some vitamin D would do me good. I walked past the school field, where recess was going on. It was really interesting to see the kids, just running around and having fun. We tend to stop doing that after a certain age. Maybe the kids have it all figured out. I felt a bit better after just going for a walk in the fresh air.

So anyways, I was talking to Steve trying to figure out what was wrong and what I should do about it. What do I do that I enjoy? Training, obviously. When I'm stressed? I still go for a run or something. So when that isn't really an option? What could I do today? What else do I enjoy doing? I wasn't sure. I like swimming, biking, and running. What did I enjoy when I was younger, before my main focus was triathlon? What could I do that didn't require a lot of energy, but that could help me relax? We both study this in school, what people do throughout their lives as leisure. Even though having a clear focus at this point is great, triathlon training shouldn't be my only leisure activity that I enjoy.  I got off the phone still not really knowing but feeling more positive that I will get through this. I wanted to do something instead of sitting around. So I got out my old favourite recipe for double chocolate cookies and baked while listening to some good music. Then I decided writing is another thing I enjoy, which is where this blog entry came from. I like getting all my thoughts out (and this is about as creative as I get, I'll leave the artsy stuff to Laura) and it doesn't even matter who reads it. I do it because I want to, but I also know I've got my family and friends behind me in whatever I do.

So I'll take this break from life without getting too down about it and hopefully I'll be back to crushing it with my usual crazy happy energy. 

Bison Classic

It's been a while since my last 3000m, but as always the life of a student-athlete is busy. Now it's finally reading week, not that I'm doing a whole lot of reading, but I'll get to that later. Anyways, I was super pumped for the Bison Classic. I knew there would be some great competition from other universities and I knew it would be my chance for a new personal best. I'd ran 11:23 back in November and then three more races slightly slower as I got tired of running these things pretty much alone. So as I was saying, I just wanted to run under 11:23, but really I had 11:15 in my head. I have for a long time, it's been another one of those barriers. I spent the whole week leading up to the Bison Classic being excited for the race and mentally getting myself ready. After one particular practice I could tell I was running great, so as I walked off the track I told my tri coach Gary I was PB'ing that weekend. I was pretty confident saying this because I knew it was time. Sometimes attitude is everything.

I still felt pretty good warming up and it's the best feeling to actually be excited and happy on the start line. I also knew I had the support of my family, friends, and coaches. Since this was the second heat of women I felt comfortable enough starting out with the main group. Although I knew it wasn't a pace I could hold for the entire race, it for sure helped to be pushed. After a while I noticed the girl ahead of me was falling off the pace a bit, and I passed her so I wouldn't lose the group too. She found another bit of speed and passed back. Soon though I realized she wouldn't stay with them so I passed again and hung on to the others for as long as I could. I did begin to lose them as everyone spread out a bit. I was kind of on my own, but that was fine. I knew I just had to mentally hang on a bit longer and keep pushing the pace on my own. I was kind of listening to my splits, and kind of knew I was where I wanted to be. I didn't waste too much thought on calculating times in my head at this point, it just gave me enough confidence to know I was close to doing what I wanted. In the end I got my new PB, 11:12.

I'm happy with that of course. I ran well, stayed focused, and accomplished my goals. But now I can't wait to finally break the 11min barrier! Even 10:59 sounds so much better. I realize that's still a pretty big chunk of time to cut off, but I think I can do it soon. I'm not saying I should have gone faster at Bison Classic. I think I left it all out there and did the best I could have for that day. But I think I can do it at another good opportunity. I had super nice offer to be paced for sub-11 by a teammate. I feel like now I have the confidence and maybe by starting out at a proper pace and knowing I have to just hang out to someone that will be consistent can get me there.

A couple years ago, going under 12min seemed like such a huge deal, (yes I know, that is not very fast, and I know 11:12 still may not seem fast) I had a breakthrough race at provincials in grade 11 and went 11:30. Then I basically got stuck in the 11:30 to 11:45 ish zone for a long time. I know, here I go reminiscing again and using way too many words to tell a simple story. But it's my story of how I got where I am now, and it's far from being over. Many improvements still to come. If that doesn't matter to you, your loss if you feel like you wasted time reading this. I'm looking forward to the improvements ahead as well as the work that comes with it.

Another highlight of this race was getting to see my lovely Saskatchewan friends. It's always nice to catch up outside of race season, and makes it feel like its not too far away anymore! Also got to chat about training camp in person a bit, which was good. I have booked my flights and am planning to head down to Arizona for a few weeks in May with the Saskatchewan group, really looking forward to it!

Oh and I said something about reading week earlier... I'll keep it brief. It's reading week right now. Writing this in the car driving home. Finally. Was in Fargo. Randomly got really sick. Stayed in hotel by myself for many hours. Snow storm. Highways closed. Stuck for another night. Went to doctor. Not strep throat so no antibiotics. Random virus I have to wait out and just take Advil and Tylenol for. Everything hurts. Not much energy. Want to be home. Finally heading home. Long day. Not so happy. Yay reading week?

Don't worry, I'll still find lots of positive energy soon enough!

2013

Happy New Year! It's been tough keeping up with this blogging thing lately but there hasn't been too much exciting stuff going on. I can now say I've survived my first semester of university. Even though it was so much work, especially by the end, I can still say I'm loving my year. I'm grateful for all the amazing friends I've made so far and for lots of awesome experiences. Now that it's 2013 I'm sure race season will be here so fast! I'm looking forward to some solid training. I will try to maintain doing some of my track practices with the Bisons, I feel like mixing it up with those speedy ladies has really been helping. They really push me all the time and I love the whole group of people.

Before Christmas I did some indoor meets. We started off with the Brown and Gold meet, a fun event  among the whole track team. Obviously my serious event was the 3000m, and then I did some other events for fun. I had been sick and I knew my attitude wasn't what it should have been, but I finished with a time of 11:23. I wasn't sure what my previous PB was and somehow we couldn't really find it, so now that's what I'm going with. I felt like I could still do better though, so I tried again a week later. It turned out I was the only female entered so I was totally on my own for pacing. I ran 11:30. So being the crazy person I am I decide why not do one more. There were a few other girls racing this time and even though I hadn't been close to getting standard yet I figured if nothing else it was good race experience and would be fun. Because everyone knows running three 3000's in a row just because is one of the most fun things you can do. Anyways I didn't have a great one and my time was 11:35. But back to some training and in the next little while I will probably do another one or two and hopefully get a better time, I feel like I am running well lately.

As for swimming it is still not ideal but at least I'm way ahead of last year. People keep asking if my shoulders are getting better. I have no idea what's going on with my stupid shoulders. It doesn't seem like it's exactly getting better but I am able to swim more so I guess it's not getting worse. Who knows. I've been swimming about twice a week so far, usually for about an hour. And I am doing the harder efforts too which is good. Last year the only training I had going into junior elite racing was about 3 months of very short (20 to 30 min) swims, completely easy with no intensity. Scary now that I think about it. So hopefully I can hold it together and gain some speed back in the next few months. I feel like it's all going to go by so fast!

New Years resolution... Keep up with blogging? Nah. I'll update when I feel like it and have time. Oh and maybe when I actually have something interesting to say. Just kidding, I don't care if it's very interesting or not! Like everything else in my life, I write because I can. As always, it's up to you if you care to read it or not. So no, I didn't make a New Years resolution. I'll just keep at it, work hard, and enjoy training, school, friends and family.

End of xc/beginning of indoor training

So cross country season has unfortunately  come to the end. I really enjoyed it all, between the racing and outdoor training. It's been good. Considering how I didn't have a clue what my season would turn out like in the beginning, I'd say it went pretty well. My races were all decent and I had fun with an awesome group of runners. I ended up being one spot away from being part of the CIS team. This was bittersweet because although I hadn't gotten my hopes up of going, it was crazy to know I'd actually gotten so close. People have been really encouraging though and thanks to everyone that tells me they know I can make it next year! Just something to work towards. I still haven't heard how the team did there today but I hope it went well. Congrats to everyone on a solid season.

Now indoor track begins. I am somewhat caught between groups this year. I have been training with the cross country girls that all went to CIS but there are quite a few other girls on the team. I am also back to full triathlon training with MNTC starting next week. It's quite a different team this year and I'm feeling kind of old for once! I think I will be running track with the Bisons once a week still, which I am also excited about. It's nice to mix it up with different groups, both for a variety of training partners to push me and for the social element.

I was a bit nervous for my first practice back on the track after so long, especially because I wasn't sure where I should be within the groups of girls. But it was also really exciting to get some solid speed work in. I was able to hang onto some fast girls the whole time and even took my turns leading. It was pretty hard but I found it really fun at the same time. It does take some time getting used to the gross track air and how the pacing should feel but around this time of year I'm usually ready for all that.

So this week I finally gave in and admitted university can sometimes suck! I still like it overall and this year has been a lot of fun so far,  but the second round of midterms hit me pretty hard. I am so glad it's over for now and I can spend the weekend relaxing for a bit. It's perfect timing that we have no school on Monday! I can finally spend some time with friends and take a break form studying.

More xc season

*ok now it's been even longer since posting due to some computer problems, so i've just continued to add on more updates!

It's been a while since my last race posting, but apparently university exams keep you quite busy sometimes. Now that I've gotten through my first batch of midterms, I have about three weeks until round 2. But I figured I can spare a bit of time to catch up on my blogging. My second race with the Bisons was in Saskatoon. It was not as huge and intimidating as Griak, but still some strong competition. It was also a bit shorter; we ran 4.5 km with less hills. We were pretty lucky to hit some milder weather that allowed racing in shorts, once we drove away from Winnipeg's snow that weekend. Although the team raced better overall, I think my race was about the same. This time I placed 50th overall out of 72, which meant I placed 5th from the team. Taylor and I battled it out the whole time, but she was able to make that final pass on me. At least 3 of us from the team finished in a row after pushing each other and getting ahead of some other competitors, so the points for our team weren't affected. Congrats to all the U of M Bisons! Even though not everyone has the race they would like every time, I once again am glad to be part of an awesome group of athletes. Everyone goes through highs and lows, individually and as a team.

Overall I had a lot of fun of this trip. Although I got a bit of disapproval, another highlight of mine was catching up with some triathlon friends. Apparently university cross-country isn't as friendly among competing teams as I am used to. It probably seemed a bit strange to see a Bison athlete standing around talking to athletes from universities of Regina, Saskatchewan, Calgary, and Alberta. It kind of felt like all of our teams were looking at us at some point! Oh well, it was still great to see those friends, and I don't think anyone was really against it.

Team travel is also always a good time, between meals, hotels, and hours on the bus. At least I got a lot more studying done on this trip. It's awesome to have people from all of my courses also studying on the bus, as well as people that have been through it before that can help! And of course there were more gas station stops, movies, and story time. What a crazy team. I love it.

I declined going to the Grand Forks meet last weekend. I had too many other commitments going on, including a stats exam that was a bit of a hassle to reschedule, and other exams to study for. I try to do everything, but I guess sometimes it's better to say no to things. Good job to the team that did go though.

I finished up coaching the Jr high season on a high note, before spending a bit more time on a bus to go with the JV and Varsity teams to Spruce Woods for Provincials. It was strange to go as a coach instead of an athlete! The rain really didn't let up and it was quite a miserable day. Between warming up both girls teams, and dealing with huge amounts of soggy clothes, I really felt the pressure to be the coach to mentally get them through it. Just as the girls were pumped up from our pep talk and ready to go, the start was delayed a lot. I was also freezing and just wanted it to be over but I knew for the girls to remain positive I would have to keep them on track. Everyone from Westgate ended up having great attitudes and all of our teams left with a medal! I'm super proud of everyone and it was great to work with them this season!

This past weekend was the Provincial Championships at Kilcona that most of the Bisons raced. It was another cold and windy day out there on the hills. Personally, my race was about as good as I expected. I couldn't quite hang on to the faster girls but I worked hard to keep them in my sights, and there wasn't anyone too close behind me. I don't think it changed anything in terms of my placing on the team. Afterwards we watched the guys race, they had to run twice as far as the girls. I know it was a mixed day for various people on the team; some were still struggling with injuries or were disappointed with what they were able to put out that day, others were happy to finally have the race they have been working towards this season. But good job to everyone that put a solid effort out this weekend!

Griak xc meet

This weekend I was fortunate enough to travel with the Bisons to my first cross country meet. We left Friday morning and returned Saturday night to go to the Griak Invitational in Minneapolis. It was definitely a lot of hours on a bus but worth it! I was super excited to go and I'd heard quite a few stories about this race. It's huge! There were a few hundred people in each event and the entire course was lined with people cheering. The girls ran 6km and it was all marked out on a golf course with constant rolling hills. I was prepared for the worst, hearing that it was "uphill both ways," and although it was very challenging there was nothing too crazy. I was super pumped as I lined up with the girls, wearing my new Bison singlet. The start of the race was like no cross country event I've ever been in. It was so crowded and because of being unable to see where I was going as well as all the adrenaline, the first kilometer went by so fast. I lost sight of my team mates early on and it wasn't until a bit later I that I caught up to one of them, got passed by two that started out a bit more conservatively, and regained that invisible elastic band with another one. It was a great boost to try to hang on to some of these faster girls once I've got them in my sights. I probably started out a bit too fast because I felt myself fading pretty bad later in the race. The last two kilometers were probably the worst but I kept pushing through it and finished strong. I'm not sure what to think about how I raced or where I ended up because I don't have much to compare it to. At least I know that by the end I had left it all out there because I felt like I was going to fall over for about half an hour after the race! According to the results that I've now found I placed 282 out of 413 in the division with a time of 26:49. That put me 7th out of the girls on my team. Afterwards we watched the guys race and ran along the course to cheer them on, just like they did for us.

Whether or not everyone had the race they were hoping for, I have a huge amount of respect for every person on the team. Congrats to all! It's a great group and I feel lucky to travel with them. I love how accepting everyone is of us rookies even though there are a lot of us this year. I look forward to more opportunities to get to know these awesome athletes. It's great to hear some of the stories of the older people and get tips about the races. On Friday we leave for Saskatoon. Another long bus ride, but I'm sure we'll pass the time with weird movies, girls-only story writing, throwing a tennis ball around the bus, and more interesting adventures. I think by now I have met almost everyone on the team. As awkward as some people think it might be to ask people their name and start a conversation, it would only get worse in a few months from now when you realize you still don't know someone! Overall, this race was a good experience.

Anyways, the results can be found on the Bison site, the Minnesota site, or flotrack. For some reason none of these work on my computer right now so I'll try to post the link later.

XC, University, and Random Endeavors

I'm back! It has been a while since I've last blogged; I know I said I would keep at it but life has been quite busy lately! But busy in a good way. There have been many changes, and I'm loving every minute of it. There are so many awesome things going on right now, so I'll try to keep it fairly brief and give an update of what I've been up to.

Bison Cross Country

I have been running with the xc team and it has been great. I always love xc season and I was really excited to start running with this group. Practices have been going really well, I love killing myself out there with these fast girls. I have a lot of respect for everyone on the team and have been doing my best to make as many new friends as possible. Last week was the Bison Time Trial. This was a race with just the team to see where everyone is at and to help determine the travel team for the five away races of the season. It went quite well for me. The pace seemed to start really fast but I settled in and took about  1km of the 4km course to catch two of the other first year girls that had gotten ahead. I kept the next few people in my sights to stay motivated and although I was passed by one of the older girls near the end, I finished 7th. I was happy with this and don't think I could have done much better. My secret goal was to establish myself as the top rookie which I was excited to accomplish. There are seven other new girls that I mostly knew from high school running, so it's awesome to spend some more time with all of them. After the time trial the whole group also had an awesome potluck. I'm still not sure what will happen with the rest of my season but it's lots of fun so far!

University

In general, I am actually loving university. I hate to admit that I am actually really into school for once. My mom laughs at me when I get home and start reading textbooks all the time. It's kind of weird, but so far I like most of my classes. I don't mind that they are huge and even the one taught by video lecture isn't bad. I was told in a few weeks I would start hating it all but I'm doing pretty well at staying on top of things. We'll see if I still think that when I have 4 midterms the week of my 18th birthday. As enormous of a campus it is, I always feel like I am surrounded by friends. Somehow I have several friends in every class and I can't go anywhere without running into people I know. It's great, I've merged some random friendship circles, reconnected with old friends, and made a bunch of new ones. U of M has felt like home to me for the past few years, and I since starting classes I have never felt confused, alone, or out of place. As much as I loved Westgate, I think I was really ready for all these big changes.

Random Endeavors

So since quitting my job at Tim Hortons of over two years I have not regretted it. I think I would have been too busy and stressed. It's great to focus on other things. I have also involved myself in more volunteer activities. At orientation I took a leap I wouldn't normally consider and signed up for the Shinerama fundraiser for cystic fibrosis. It was an interesting experience of collecting donations downtown and meeting some older students.

 I am spending my non cross country practice days running with a different group. That is, I'm back at Westgate coaching mainly the grade 7 and 8 teams. It's similar to what I did last year but I'm going to more of their practices and meets. It's tons of fun. The little girls need that extra encouragement to keep running, and the little boys need to learn they don't need to win warm-up.  When I compare them to some of the university guys it's easy to see where their egos started to develop.

I have also recently become part of the Triathlon Manitoba board as an athlete rep. My dad has been on the board forever and this has been something I've been thinking about for quite a while now. I'm excited to be involved in this way. There's another volunteer project through school I'm considering, but I'll have to see how crazy life gets.

One last thing is that we have a German Exchange student living with us right now. It's lots of fun and Luisa is great to live with. She is quite easy going and seems comfortable after such a short amount of time. Before school started we spent some time showing her around Winnipeg and it was fun pretending to be a tourist in our own city. I am learning some random German words from her which can be pretty funny when my pronunciation is bad and I keep repeating the few words I do know. We took a picture on the first day of school like when we were little. It had always seemed so lame but I felt like I was missing out on something when the two girls took a picture, so I had to get in one too. Even though I didn't actually start school the same day. But I think it's pretty cute. I am already missing the warm weather!

I think that's it for now; if I do get to race any more meets I will be sure to post updates, as well as anything else exciting that happens!